||[Dec. 28th, 2005|02:07 pm]
What is there to say.
My aunt just passed away today morning. I want to do something. I want to help make it better. We broke the news to my dad over the phone. He was speechless. Like 5 mins of silence. I felt so bad. He might not be able to go cause he has to fix some paper stuff. He hasn’t seen her in over 12 years. So thats sad. I dunno what I feel exactly. I just know that Im sad. Sad because she is the first family member that I actually knew that passed away. No one close to me has ever died. I got to know her, though I wasn’t that close to her… I loved her. She was my dad’s older sister. She lives in Ecuador. My dad lives in N.Y. and I live in Miami. I really want to go to be with my family (my cousins, aunts, uncles) but its 3 days before New Year’s day and the flight prices are extremely high. Its more than a thousand dollars to go for her burial. I want to go but I have no idea how I am gonna be able to get that money in less than 2 days. I dunno what to do. I feel sad. This is sad. But my mind is blank right now. Literally. I guess Im a little shock but at the same time conscious of whats happening.
And right now Im at work. Tonight I have a leadership meeting and I have an undeveloped cold. My throat is sore and I have a stuffy nose. To top it off, I have to answer calls yet my voice is almost gone. …..I feel blue. Really. I need to pray. For my family over there in the middle of earth…. So that God can console them and so that they may find peace.
Shes in a better place. Cause she had diabetes and these last couple of weeks she was suffering. Yesterday the entire family left it in the hands of God so that He may take control and I also prayed so that she wont suffer. She is better off…. Cause atleast now, shes not suffering.
Sometimes we don’t want to let go of those we love… simply because their absence is too painful for us and we don’t want them to leave our side… But I think that because we love them, and we don’t want them to suffer… we have to let them go. I didn’t want her to suffer anymore… because she was in deep pain…. Her children also… but we all prayed so that Gods will can be done and so that she wont suffer… so He took her in His hands this morning. And though now we mourn…. She is at peace. That’s what gives me peace. I know that its gonna be alright now…. Eventually.
PS if you guys can, pray for me and my family. Thanks.
Luv you guys!